Every year around this time a bunch of wannabe wine writers gather in Napa to suck off the teat of those who know what they're doing. Obviously, I didn't go; I'm not a professional wine writer. Apparently, I'm the worst the kind of writer: a blogger. This is now the fifth guest post I've penned and I feel dirtier every time I do it. I'm surprised my dog still can stand by my side. I guess an animal that licks its own butt isn't too discriminating. However, my stench makes me wonder how some of those in attendance made it past the Meadowood bouncer?
I didn't attend the event, but that won't stop me from commenting on it. All my information about the symposium comes from what others have written. And from what I can tell, the future of wine writing is in danger. The great prognosticators are getting up there in years and no one has yet proven to the world that they can adequately fill Bob's, Steve's or Jim's shoes. The profession mustn't fall into the hands of incompetents who by virtue of hitting the “publish” button claim to be writers. Ill-informed nonsense for all the world to see is continuously spread this way. No, sir.
After the symposium I expected to read about all the new faces among the Pantheon that I could follow from the very start. But all I found was one thing. Robert. M. Parker. Jr. All everyone was writing about was Mr. Parker's keynote lecture. Why are there no blog posts on sessions like "Enhance Your Writing With Visual Images" or "The Multiple Personalities of Chardonnay?" Mr. Parker's new boss led a session on "Identifying Wine Sensory Attributes and Flaws," but apparently so did Jon Bonné and Eric Asimov. I have it on good authority that the session was a disaster showcasing largely emaciated, excessively acidic, hollow wines! Apparently many of the attendees were turned off and left wondering how wine writing could intentionally go down such a losing path!
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The lineup of unexpected Napa Valley wines. Photo by Bob McClenahan |
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Jon Bonné seeking sage advice... Photo by Bob McClenahan |
So, in conclusion, I ask all the bloggers who think they can save wine writing to come back when you have an original thought. Rehashing Bob's generous speech and attacking his appearance most definitely is not how real wine writers behave.
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