Wednesday's Wines: Shafer Vineyards and Stone Cottage Cellars

Preface: The Napa Valley and the entire world lost two pillars of the wine community this week. Donn Chappellet and Molly Shafer both passed away recently. Both were instrumental in establishing the Napa Valley as the United States' preeminent wine region over the past half decade. Their family names are now firmly entrenched with American wine history. Their families and the greater wine community will no doubt miss them dearly.

Chardonnay often gets a bad rap. Sure, white Burgundy is said to be some of the finest wine in the world, but some of the Californian examples of the grape has also been labeled Cougar Juice. The cultivar has also given rise to the ABC – Anything But Chardonnay – crowd.

Share 2013 Red Shoulder Ranch

I'm not the world's biggest fan of Chardonnay because I find more pleasure in exploring other varieties – and Chardonnay is too often uninteresting. However, when produced with purpose and care. A few weeks ago, in celebration of Mothers' Day, we celebrated with a prime example of such a Chardonnay. Shafer Vineyards 2013 Red Shoulder Ranch Chardonnay (14.9% abv, Sample $52) is often cited as one of the top Napa Valley Chardonnays. It straddles the line of litheness and voluptuousness like few Chardonnay can. There is no doubt this is a rich wine from the nose. The aromas of baked apples, mango, and shortbread are complemented with flavors of pineapples, vanilla and smoke. The high alcohol comes through, but is not a distraction. Ample acidity balances the richness. This is a great wine for those that like big, rich California Chardonnays, but also enjoy a steely version of the grape.

Stone Cottage 2013 Chardonnay

Still in somewhat of a Chardonnay mood, the following night I decided to open a Colorado rendition of the grape. Stone Cottage Cellars' 2013 Chardonnay (14% abv, Purchased $22) is grown at 6300 feet about sea level in the West Elks AVA overlooking the quaint hamlet of Paonia. When I first opened it, the nose struck me as non-Chardonnay-like. It starts coy with steely aromas of lemon and limes. After being open for a while, the wine just blossoms and I like it more with each sniff and sip. The Chardonnay characteristics start to come to the forefront as the aromas and flavors build with baked apples, pears, brioche and a touch of cinnamon. The flavors and finish kept building all night until the bottle was gone and the wine could evolve no more. The acidity is so lovely and amazingly at about a pH of 3.1! I actually prefer this to the Shafer. At only $22 for a 25 case production, this is a screaming value and I'd suggest this would favorably out-compete with Grand Cru Chablis that cost more than 10 times what this humble little Colorado Chardonnay costs. Simply put: this is an amazing wine.

Wednesday's Wines: Carlisle, Matthiasson and Sandlands

California is the United States' wine country and rightly so. So many good wines come from The Golden State. But in the past few decades many California wine regions are turning into something of a monoculture where one or two cultivars dominate. These "noble" varieties are now what could also be called the international varieties. Cabernet Sauvignon, Chardonnay, Merlot and Pinot Noir. The varieties and styles of yesteryear have been mostly forgotten.

However, there are a few producers looking to break the mold of the big, bold, fruit-forward style of California wine. Last week I wrote about love trying interesting cultivars and they can definitely be found in The Golden State. This past week, I opened three such wines from producers of the so-called "New California" wave. It just so happened that all three were made from unusual (for CA) white grape cultivars.

Beatrice's Blushes: Bedrock Wine Co.

We're approaching a time in our life when we will have two mobile children. Recently, Ms. B has been rolling and scooting around like it is her job. It definitely is fun and exciting to see how she changes each day, but diaper changes have officially entered the octopus-wrestling-match realm. If you're not a parent, you won't really be able to fully appreciate that visualization. Another new trick is yoga. She's been practicing her best downward facing dog by getting her bottom up in the air pretty well. It won't be long now until she trades yoga for track and field and we will be chasing her around. Good thing her older brother doesn't evade us like an escaped convict anymore – we'll actually have to utilize him to help corral our cute little octopus!

Bedrock 2015 Ode to Lulu Rosé

Though not as exciting as watching children change, tasting the year-to-year changes in wine is one of the things I love about it. Seeing how weather affects the final product or how winemaker choices regarding a blend causes the synapses in my brain to fire. I especially enjoy observing these changes in rosé – I think the color lends itself to visualizing changes more than with red or white wines. One year a wine is a deep fuchsia and the next it could be a pale salmon. One of my favorite pink wines is the Bedrock Wine Co. Ode to Lulu Old Vine Rosé (12.3% abv, Purchased $19) from California. The 2015 incarnation is almost 2/3 Mourvèdre (Mataro) and the rest Grenache and Carignan. This is such a festive wine, but this vintage comes across as a touch more serious and feral – but just a bit. It is slightly lighter than the 2014 but darker in color than the 2012 and 2011 vintages. The 2015 is mostly about bright red fruit and citrus. Both the aromas and flavors revolve around strawberries, watermelon and limes. Its almost like Morgan (the winemaker) put all those fruit into a blender with a tequila that was meant for sipping as he was making a margarita and then salted the rim of the glass with some pink Punjabi rock salt that he obtained on a backpacking trip through the Himalayas. It is ready to party, but holds back a bit of mystery...

Wednesday's Wines: California, Maryland and Uruguay

At a recent wine dinner one of the guests asked me what my favorite style of wine is. My response: new and different wines. Yes, I purchase more California wines than I probably should, but I really love tasting wine from new places and interesting cultivars. I did a pretty good job of that goal this past week.

Sterling Vineyards 2013 Heritage

California is America's wine country. That is just a fact. Most of the wine produced in the U.S. hails from sunny California. There is some terrific wine, and some not so terrific wine. The most recent wine I had from California, unfortunately, trends toward the latter end of that spectrum. The Sterling Vineyards Vintner's Collection 2013 Meritage (13.5% abv, Sample $14) left a bad taste in my mouth. No, really, it tasted a bit chemically, fishy and altogether unpleasant. It tasted like a $6 bottle of plonk - it actually shows up on wine-searcher for $6.99-$7.99. There is the requisite mocha and dark fruit flavors that come with a blend of  Merlot, Cabernet Sauvignon, Cabernet Franc, Malbec and Petit Verdot, but not a whole lot of other redeeming qualities.

Bodega Garson 2013 Tannat

On the other hand, the Bodega Garzón 2013 Tannat (14.5% abv, Sample $20) from Uruguay is a delicious wine. Garzón is owned by Argentine billionaire Alejandro Bulgheroni, whom I pegged as responsible for the Cameron Hughes Private Reserve wines made at Harlan Estate in the Napa Valley. I wasn't overly impressed by those wines, but this Tannat from Uruguay is truly tasty and perfect for Cabernet Sauvignon lovers. Tannat is perhaps Uruguay's signature grape despite its southwestern French heritage as the main grape in the Madiran region. This wine is powerful yet elegant. The deeply colored Tannat reveals the red and black fruit aromas you would expect in a Cabernet and accompanied by scents chocolate and tobacco. It is smooth on the palate with silky tannins – firm but not overwhelming – adding structure to the cherry, raspberry and mocha flavors. It paired well with our strip steak – which interestingly enough was also from Uruguay. I would expect this wine to hold up for a several years and impress those interested in Napa Cabernet and off-the-beaten path varieties alike.

Old Westminster 2014 Albariño

Finally, the Old Westminster Winery 2014 Two Vineyards Albariño (12% abv, Sample $28) is a lovely wine that other Maryland producers might want to consider looking at. Three years ago at the Drink Local Wine conference in Baltimore an Albariño from Black Ankle Vineyards opened my eyes to what this Iberian grape can do on the east coast of the U.S. Black Ankle and Old Westminster are about 10 miles apart just south of Westminster, MD not too far from Baltimore. You're not going to confuse it with a Spanish Albariño, but this wine comes across more like a blend between Rhône and Rías Baixas. It is crips yet rich. There is a good amount of citrus and tropical fruit flavors present along with a bit of spice. This is a tasty and unique wine.

Wednesday's Wines: Prisoner Wine Company

Last week, Constellation Brands spent a lot of money – $285 million a lot – to acquire The Prisoner Wine Company. Most people probably aren't familiar with Constellation, but they are one of the world's largest wine producers. Constellation owns Robert Mondavi Winery, Clos du Bois, Ravenswood, Manischewitz, Vendange and recently acquired (they spent $315 million for this brand) Meiomi in addition to dozens of other wine brands. They also own the Corona, Pacifico and Modelo beer brands along with Svedka vodka. Chances are if you've bought a bottle of booze you've given Constellation some of your money.

There has been a lot written about this acquisition by the wine media. Most of the discussion revolves around the lack of vineyards or production facilities with the purchase. Just as with the Meiomi purchase, only the brand was acquired by Constellation. Some writers have been flabbergasted that so much money could be spent on a wine brand when the source of the grapes seems to be up in the air. Other companies, like E & J Gallo Winery and Jackson Family Wines have been buying vineyard land up and down the Pacific Coast. That certainly is a strong approach to building a wine empire, but I would argue that the Meiomi and Prisoner brands are stronger and more highly regarded than any owned by Gallo or JFW. In today's economy, brand is king. All of the most popular wines are built on brand and not on vineyard sources. From what vineyard does Two Buck Chuck or KJ's Vintner's Reserve come?? Prisoner is more about a certain style than it is about expressing a particular terroir. That style of wine can be produced in much larger volume than a wine based on a defined place. To most American wine consumers, consistent style and availability is much more important than the expression of time and place. As much as this disturbs me personally, it is the way the wine industry has been trending for quite some time.

As aggressive as this approach seems to be, it is actually quite conservative. Providing the same style of wine year in and year out in as many markets as possible is a tried and true path to building a strong brand. Just look at how popular America's fast food chains have become. I can buy a Big Mac in Denver, Seattle and Miami and they all will taste the exact same. However, this doesn't mean all wine is going this way as my friend the Wine Curmudgeon often rants about. The number of wine brands that are privately owned, small wineries is much larger than the number owned by "Big Wine" overlords – and actually continues to grow. Yes, volume-wise they are much smaller, but we obviously still have the progressive end of the wine where the expression of place and vintage characteristics is important. Instead of converging to the same common point, wine seems to be as rapidly diverging as American politics.

A few weeks ago – and prior to the acquisition announcement – I sat down with Prisoner's winemaker Jen Beloz to taste through the lineup. Jen started in 2011 after Huneeus Vintners purchased Prisoner from Orin Swift founder Dave Phinney for $40 million. While doubling production from ~85,000 cases to ~170,000 cases Huneeus made quite a profit on that ~6 year investment! And just think, The Prisoner originally started as a single 385 case label. Now, the portfolio of wines produced by PWC includes the namesake Prisoner blend, a newer white blend called Blindfold, the Thorn Merlot, a Zinfandel called Saldo, and a Cabernet Sauvignon known as Cuttings. The wines are perhaps known best for their clever, catchy, creative and most importantly memorable labels. The Prisoner label is an image Francisco de Goya's The Little Prisoner etching. While the labels are cool and all that, I wanted to get to know what was inside the bottles.

Wednesday's Wines: Bedrock North Coast Syrah

This week we celebrated our son's fifth birthday; it's amazing how fast the time flies. One of the advantages of having been afflicted with a wine collection disorder means that I have decided that birth-year wines are a purposeful component of our sizable wine stash. Now, unfortunately I do not have any from my wife's or my birthdays, but having young children makes buying their birth-year wines easy. It is looking like our second child's birth year – 2015 – will be a decent year for agreeable wines that may see her 21st birthday. However, Benjamin was born in 2011 – not the greatest vintage across the globe, with a few exceptions such as German whites and vintage Port. I do have a few wines set aside that I think will make it to his 21st birthday, but I'm guessing most 2011 wines will be best long before he is even able to operate a motor vehicle let alone legally consume a glass of wine with his parents. So, on his fifth birthday we decided to open a five-year old bottle of California Syrah from one of best value producers out their.

Bedrock 2011 North Coast Syrah

The Bedrock 2011 North Coast Syrah (14% abc, Purchased $20) is the entry-level Syrah offered by Morgan Twain-Peterson. His single-vineyard wines tend to be in the $30-$50 range, but this blend of barrels that didn't make the cut for those pricier wines is a steal at $20. Entry-level wines are a great way to get a glimpse of what a winery's more expensive wines taste like. As with most of the Bedrock wines, this wine is full of lovely and powerful aromas. Scents of flowers, bacon, white pepper and cherries radiate from the glass. The dark purple wine shows its pedigree of richness and complexity with flavors of black olives, spicy pepper, tobacco, cedar, and dark cherries. It doesn't have the density and concentration of the more expensive wines, but it still punches above its price class. Still going strong after five years with a few more likely at its peak. Good thing I have a few more of these waiting downstairs.

Dr. Harry Oldman on Andy Warhol Wines

Dr. Harry Oldman recently got back into town after spending the past few weeks in Florida to help knock on doors before the March 15 primary. He tells me he had a successful time and drank some fantastic wine, but something has been bothering him. He just had to get this off his chest.

Beatrice's Blushes: Lightning Rosé

16" of snow...

I'm sure if you turned on your television in the past two days you saw that the Denver metro area was inundated by snow on Wednesday. You got to love Colorado weather; Monday and Tuesday both saw high temperatures of 70 °F and then we were graced with 16" of snow on Wednesday between 4 am and 4 pm. At the peak of the storm, with visibility down to a maybe 100 m and winds pushing 40 mph my whole family ventured to a nearby park to play in the snow. Bea was strapped to mom and took a nap in the blizzard while Ben and I had a good wrestling match in the snow. Yesterday, it was almost 50 °F and most of the snow on the roads melted away! Such is life in Colorado.

Wednesday's Wines: Derenoncourt Lake County Cabernet Sauvignon

Winery mailing lists are an unusual thing. Most people buy their wine at retail stores near their homes. Depending on the state one lives in, the retail venue may be a grocery store, a liquor store where all types of beverage alcohol are sold, or a wine specialty shop. Those wines find their way on to the retailers' shelves by means of wholesale middlemen who distribute their products only to retailers. This is known as the three-tier system and is the typical model the wine world has operated since the repeal of Prohibition. The direct-to-consumer model of the allocated mailing list is something of a holy grail in the wine world as it cuts out the middleman. Most wineries have a sales option on their website where consumers may purchase products directly from them. The winery then ships the wine directly to the consumer via a common carrier (FedEx or UPS are generally the two main carriers). This process allows the winery to collect the full retail price of the wine instead of selling it at wholesale cost to their distributor. It also allows consumers (depending on where they live) to have access to most of the wines they demand. I still cannot understand, in this day and age, how and why some winery websites still do not have this functionality and why some states restrict this type of commerce. But I digress as this post is not about the disfunctionality of the three-tier system and current alcohol laws.

Some wineries have taken this approach to a different level. Consumers may sign up to receive notification when they are allowed to purchase a set amount of a winery's wine (usually in increments of 3 bottles). Most wineries suggest this as a way to allow more customers access to the wine. In some cases, which continue to become rarer and rarer, there is a waiting list just to be added to the mailing list. For the most part, you can sign up and receive an offer right away for wineries that use allocation lists. Sometimes the amount of wine a winery will allow you to purchase is dependent on previous purchases; as you buy wine, more is offered to you in subsequent years.

Beatrice's Blushes: Lorenza Rosé Vertical

For the past few years my wife and I have hosted a Valentine's Day party for our friends and neighbors as a way to avoid the hassle of getting a restaurant reservation but still enjoying adult company (almost all guests have children). We usually open a few bottles of wine and play a variety of board games. Cards Against Humanity always makes an appearance and is usually the highlight (or most awkward depending on your disposition) of the evening. This year we also played Pie Face, Five Second Rule and Quelf. The only child invited was Beatrice, and she actually invited herself when she refused to be left alone in her room. As long as she was being held, she was a perfect little angel. I thank her for being my good luck charm when it was my turn on Pie Face.

Wednesday's Wines: Scherrer Winery

One of my favorite things about the French wine industry is the use of controlled designations of origin. Not only does the AOP/AOC system guarantee the source of the grapes, but also the grape cultivars themselves. When you buy a bottle of Gevrey Chambertin you know it is made from Pinot noir. When you buy a bottle of Sancerre you know it is Sauvignon blanc. This system is great for providing a plethora of information to a savvy customer by only using a geographic on a label. This system is also great for stifling producer creativity. You will never find a bottle of Bordeaux made with Syrah. Ah, Château Palmer's Historical XIX Century Wine is an exception to that rule, you say! Yes, but this blend of Bordeaux and Syrah from the northern Rhône Valley is labeled as Vin de Table Français, or lowly French Table Wine. Though it occasionally happens, French wine producers produce wine from restricted cultivars, or by restricted methods, and then label the wine with the less prestigious Vin de Table Français designation. 

Beatrice's Blushes: Snowy Peaks Winery Cinsault Rosé

It is interesting how certain wines remind you of other totally unrelated wines previously consumed. The same can be said of people. Sometimes these similarities can be good things or not so good. I notice things about Beatrice that I remember happening with Ben, but I know they're completely different people. I sometimes find myself tasting a wine and think it is something else when I know it can't possibly be. I've been put off by wines that reminded me so much of something I didn't enjoy in the past, only to be surprised when the labels were revealed. But the best instances of these mistaken identities are when you taste a wine that is a dead ringer for something either rare or much more expensive. Well, this week's rosé fits into that category.

Wednesday's Wines: Forlorn Hope Nodosaur

There is a lot more to California wine than just Napa and Sonoma. Places like Lodi, Santa Cruz Mountains, Paso Robles and Santa Barbara tend to take a back seat to their more prestigious North Coast brethren, but often proved a greater variety and value when it comes down to what's in the bottle. Somewhat amazingly, over half of the 230+ American Viticultural Areas (AVAs) in the country call California home. I'd be willing to be that most wine consumers would have trouble naming 10% of those California AVAs (even if they knew what an AVA is!).

Wednesday's Wines: Matthiasson Red Wine and Cabot Klamath Cuvee

A few weeks ago, I wrote about red blends as a growing wine category. I personally find blends often make more complete and complex wines than varietal wines. Aroma, flavor or texture characteristics that may be missing from a single variety can be filled by another grape. It is amazing to see that as little as 1% of a variety blended in truly can completely transform a wine. Blending is also a useful tool for a winemaker to create as good of a wine as he or she can each year. Weather conditions in back-to-back vintages can treat cultivars quite differently, so by playing with the cépage (percentage of each variety of grapes in the composition of a blended wine) can adjust the characteristics of the finished wine.

I find that many wineries take two different approaches to blends. The first is to make the blend their grand vin - top wine. The best lots are used to build the best wine possible. Often with this approach, the same cultivars are used to create the blend. The cépage may change - or it may stay exactly the same - but the building blocks generally are the same each year. Perhaps certain vineyards, or blocks, are selected for the vintage characteristics each provide. What is "leftover" after the blend is finalized can then be sold as varietal wine or different blend (or off in bulk anonymously).

The second approach is to create a blend after all the varietal, single-vineyard, and premium blends have been finalized. This approach can be perfect for creating great value wines - if the winemaker still takes care in making sure the blend works. All too often, simply throwing all the "leftover" wine together doesn't produce a high-quality wine. Today's wines are examples of both these approaches, and both are beautiful wines in their own right.

Beatrice's Blushes: Frisk Prickly Grenache

Beatrice is six weeks old today! She now looks more like a baby than a newborn. In fact, she's starting to outgrow some of the newborn clothes and fit into her 0-3 month outfits. Before we know it she'll be mobile and getting into trouble. I hope big brother will help us baby-proof the house when it's time, though judging by the state of his room we have some work to do.

Frisk 2011 Prickly Grenache

While looking for a rosé for this week's wine, I noticed this bottle of Frisk 2011 Prickly Grenache (11.9% abv, Sample $12) that I had forgotten about. Now seemed like as good a time as any to drink. I've had the Frisk Prickly Riesling and Prickly Rosso in the past and thought they were fun, interesting wines. The Grenache for this wine was sourced from Lodi, CA. This slight spritzy (hence the prickly moniker) is amaranth (reddish-rose) in color. The nose is not exceptionally aromatic, but there are some notes of watermelon, strawberry and pomegranate. You can taste the 0.5% residual sugar, but it is not sweet. The red fruits found on the nose meet up a slightly bitter, herbal component on the palate. It didn't seem to be at its freshest - but that's probably my fault for forgetting about it in my cellar for about two years! It actually reminded me of gin and tonic made with splash of pomegranate or strawberry bitters and maybe a dash of Chambord. It would probably be a good wine to serve to a non-wine crowd at a picnic or to use in a cocktail.

Wednesday's Wines: Segura Viudas, Under the Wire, and Shafer Vineyards

New Year's Eve probably sees the most sparkling wine consumed when compared to any other day of the year. Sparkling wine is associated with celebration and luxury that originates from the parties of the royal courts and aristocracy of Europe beginning in the 18th century. The popping of the cork and the bubbly effervescent can be very symbolic of abundance, joy and a good time. Though the idea of going out and partying like we did years ago has been replaced with putting the kids to bed, curling up on the couch, and then going to sleep before the clock strikes midnight, the sparkling wine still found its way into our wine glasses this New Year's Eve and New Year's Day!

Wednesday's Wines: J Vineyards & Winery Chardonnay and Parker Station Pinot Noir

Holidays are usually filled with family, food and wine and this past week was no exception. A few bottles of whiskey also saw their demise (though I didn't even have even a dram). It was fun having my family in town, even for only just a few days. We drank well and ate well; Bison prime rib roast, roasted pheasant and applewood-smoked ham all found their way on to the dinner table.

Interestingly, it just so happened that all of the wine we opened came from California. We opened a few hard-to-find small production wines: we finished off the remaining bottles of Cameron Hughes Private Selection (notes coming) and had a selection of Zinfandels from Scherrer. However, some widely available Chardonnay and Pinot noir found their way in to our glasses, too.

J Vineyards 2013 Chardonnay

J Vineyards & Winery 2013 Chardonnay (14.3% abv. Sample $28)

This Chardonnay was opened while we waited for the bison rib roast to cook. 2013 was a year of abundance in northern California. The growing conditions were ideal and a lot of high-quality fruit was grown. This Chardonnay hails from the Russian River Valley AVA in Sonoma County. Harvest started in August (yes, that is early) for the grapes in this bottle. This entry-level J Chardonnay is medium yellow in color. Aromas of ripe pears and peaches waft up from the glass. The barrel ageing and malolactic fermentation so common in California Chardonnays became more pronounced on the palate as toasted marshmallows, spiced pears and dried pineapple flavors were complemented by a silky creaminess. This is a very nice Chardonnay that is not overdone and that lovers of the richer California-style Chardonnay will enjoy.

Parker Station 2014 Pinot Noir

Parker Station 2014 Pinot Noir (13.8% abv. Sample $15)

I was quite surprised with this Pinot noir from Fess Parker Winery that is a blend of grapes from California's Central Coast (Monterey County, Santa Barbara County and San Luis Obispo County). Finding a high quality Pinot noir below $25 is not an easy task, yet this is textbook Pinot noir. Now don't get me wrong, this isn't Pulitzer Prize worthy, but it has a beginning, middle and end along with genuine Pinot noir varietal character that is often lost in less expensive Pinots. Some really good aromas of cherry, strawberry, earth, forest floor, cinnamon and vanilla can be detected. Cranberry and fruit punch flavors come across in the mouth. It went down easy and would surely be a crowd-pleasing wine at parties or with dinner. For the price, this is hard to beat in the California Pinot noir realm.

Wednesday's Wines: Ruby Trust Cellars Gunslinger

The red-wine blend category has been quite popular with consumers of late. According to market research firm IRI, the red blend category has increased sales by value 14% over the past year. I don't know why it has taken Americans so long to realize that most wine in traditional wine regions (i.e., those in Europe) were created from blending grapes. A broad palette of grapes allows winemakers to create a beautiful piece of art every year when certain varieties may make varietal wine difficult, if not impossible. However, this tiny shift in the U.S. away from the focus on varietal wines to blends is probably mostly due to clever marketing and American's sweet-tooth palate. Varietal wines aren't going anywhere, but it is nice to see more creativity in the wine industry to reach a broader audience. Many of the most popular red blends are produced from lesser-known (and less expensive) grapes and with a hint (or sometimes more) of residual sugar, but there are plenty made without any sweetness.

Wednesday's Wines: Loscano Torrontés and Jordan Cabernet Sauvignon

One thing that a wine blog should be about more than anything is else wine. In the past, I've gotten away from that. So, today I'm starting Wednesday's Wines. These posts will short, sweet and to the point. I'll write a little bit about the wine and my thoughts on how it smelled and tasted. I want to explicitly mention the aroma because to me, much of the pleasure from wine comes from just smelling it. A wine can have little aroma and still taste good, but I find that a wine's true character and complexity shines through in the nose.

Harry Oldman on Killing the Geezers that lay the Golden Eggs

Hello, friends, Dr. Harry W. Oldman here! It has been a while since I've come here to put pen to paper - or do these young whippersnappers call it fingering the computer - partly because I wanted to see what the reaction would be when I said to myself I might cease writing. About a year ago, I took a position with a big-name wine producer, but recently left. My non-disclosure agreement only allows me to say good things about them, but I can't identify them by name. Anyway, I'm back because the wine world needs more old white guys to keep it from destroying itself. Without us, I'd be surprised if the wine industry would survive more than a few weeks. Millennials and bloggers - scum of the earth - are intent on destroying what we worked so hard to achieve: delicious wine.

There used to be hedonism in the wine business. I know, because I know some wonderful women winemakers who... well, let's just leave it at me knowing them. I don't want to get in trouble because the FCC won't let me be, or let me be me. So, let me see... well, we don't have hedonism anymore. No, now, because of all those slack-line-walking bloggers, we have another form of prejudice that’s just as pernicious: asceticism.

Read, for example, this piece, from The New York Times Magazine, that refers to "a band of upstart winemakers ... trying to redefine what California wine should taste like." This group of self-proclaimed arbiters of taste wants wine to be minerally and flavorless. They think wine should have no perceivable alcohol! We are basically living a second-coming of the temperance movement.

Okay, let's break this down.