Thursday, January 27, 2011

A new wine rating system...

With all the hubbub surrounding the different wine rating systems and discussion about the extent different factors play a part of them, I’ve decided to create a new system. This system incorporates every aspect of experiencing a wine. This system is a first draft and I urge everyone to please help me renovate and improve the 100-point system. Together, we can make a truly excellent system that will actually mean something! So without any other introduction, here it is:

                                                                                                                             Yes    No
Did you have any reservations about how much the wine cost?                                -1    +1
Did your significant other need convincing for you to buy the bottle?                        -2    +2
Did your purchase cause you to not be able to buy any other necessity?                  -3    +3
Was the wine free?                                                                                                +4    n/a

Is the bottle made of glass?                                                                                    +1    +1
Does the bottle have a punt?                                                                                  +2    n/a
Is the empty bottle heavier than a full bottle of something cheaper?                          +3    +3
Is the bottle open?                                                                                                 +4    n/a

Is the label easy to read?                                                                                        +1    -1
Is the label clean and free of any tears?                                                                   +2    -1   
Is the label eye-catching?                                                                                       +3    +2
Is the label counterfeit?                                                                                           -4    +4

Does the bottle have a capsule?                                                                             +1    n/a
Are there signs of seepage?                                                                                    -2    +2
Is the capsule made of tin?                                                                                     +3    +1
Does the capsule match the label?                                                                          +4    -4

Does the wine have a cork?                                                                                   +1    +1
Is the cork/closure easy to remove?                                                                       +2    -2
Does the cork/closure come out in one piece?                                                        +3    -1
Does the cork/closure match the label?                                                                  +4    -4

Does the liquid look like wine?                                                                              +1    -3
Is a red wine reddish, a rose pinkish and a white wine yellowish?                           +2    -2
Is the wine clear of foreign objects?                                                                      +3    -3
Does the appearance look off?                                                                             -4    +4

Are the aromas enticing?                                                                                      +1    -1
Does the wine smell clean?                                                                                  +2    -2
Do certain (positive) aroma characteristics come to mind?                                    +3    -3
Do the aromas make you think about what you smell?                                          +4    -2

Do you sense some mixture of alcohol, acidity, tannin and/or fruit?                        +1    -1
Do the flavors linger in your mouth for at least 15 seconds?                                  +2    -2
Do the flavors make you want to take another sip?                                              +3    -3
Is the wine balanced?                                                                                          +4    -4

Is the wine liquid?                                                                                                +1    -3
If the wine is sparkling, does it have bubbles?                                                       +2    -2
If the wine is still, is it free of bubbles?                                                                  +3    -3
Is the wine balanced?                                                                                           +4    -4

Overall impression:
Have you been drinking wine for more than 30 years?                                          +1    -1
Have you ever had a better wine previously?                                                        -2    +2
Would you drink this wine again?                                                                        +3    -3
Do you want to add 4 points just for the hell of it?                                                +4    n/a

Does the wine have attributes that numbers just can't describe?                              *     n/a

Add up your score and you’ve just scored a wine like a professional!        
I’m __ points on that!

For those of you arithmetically inclined, you will notice that the highest that a wine can score in this system is 98* points for a still wine and 97* points for a sparkling. This is of course due to the fact that wines are living entities that can achieve perfection no more than you or I...


  1. It might take longer to score a wine than it would to drink the whole bottle :)

  2. @Anonymous, thanks for you comment, I agree! This post was written as a satire of the wine scoring debate going on in the wine blogosphere and online wine forums...

  3. @John, thanks for reading. Follow on Facebook and Twitter too!

  4. @Pamela, you're probably right! I hope a few people had a laugh with this post and realize how silly the scoring/rating/critic debate is getting. Thanks for reading!

  5. @ColoradoWinePress: I'm relieved....